1. |
Chili Con Carnage
03:01
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[Donnie Bonelli]
Status: Infinite
Stature: Bigger than…
Yukon Cornelius, “Land ho!” Im killin’ it!
Lando Calrissian, Baron of Cloud City meets Brando!
Hey, give me that dab though. (For real!)
[Rhyme Time]
Status: Silliness
Stature: Dissonant
Bully Books are imminent, unique, no synonym
We’re banging on the trash can avant-garde instrument
We’re rapping ’til we’re infamous (…but only on the internet)
[Apt]
Status: Cinnamon
Stature: Limpin' in
But still outpace the gaits of you assholes listenin’
Get some thicker skin, then try it just one mo’ gin
Go ahead and tell a friend, you sick but we’re the medicine
Chorus: Hey, yo, you smell that? Uh-huh! Smells good! House of Lewis stankin’ up your neighborhood with that home-cooked original flavor! Raisin’ up where the bar is! Come and taste this chili con carnage!
[Donnie Bonelli]
Status: Ali
Stature: Tall Drink of Water
All these thirsty daughters are bound to call me.
Sting like I’m all bee. Beard like a Don King headstand.
Yes, ma’am, king of the whole ring.
[Rhyme Time]
Status: Butterbean
Stature: Blubbery
Everybody lovin’ me, I’m choppin’ down the money tree
Choppin’ money shrubbery, I’m shopping for the luxury
You dummies too schlubby, tubby, chubby to run with me
[Apt]
Status: De La Hoya
Stature: Just a Goyim
Not bad for another wannabe De La Souler
Apt skilled rock n’ rolla that kills, say no more
I’m utility, see, rap game Joey Cora
Chorus: Hey, yo, you smell that? Uh-huh! Smells good! House of Lewis stankin’ up your neighborhood with that home-cooked original flavor! Raisin’ up where the bar is! Come and taste this chili con carnage!
[Donnie Bonelli]
Status: Fast Shot
Stature: Sasquatch
That Doc Holliday of rap. Huckleberry with a hacksaw. Jim Duggan’s slack jaw’s back y’all!
[Apt]
Hey-o, my name is Apt, I’m the cat that rocks a padlock
Status: Cut You Off
Stature: I’m the Boss
Bigger than Hillbilly Jim, baby, that’s a hoss
Jim Ross howlin’ while I’m tossin’ off the molotov
Jericho stance while these jobber cats take they loss
[Rhyme Time]
Status: Rocker
Stature: Jobber
I’m Marty Janetty on the indies, shocker
Not Harley or Lawler or Andre or Slaughter
The shows still stops if I hit the Rocker Dropper
Chorus: Hey, yo, you smell that? Uh-huh! Smells good! House of Lewis stankin’ up your neighborhood with that home-cooked original flavor! Raisin’ up where the bar is! Come and taste this chili con carnage!
[Donnie Bonelli]
Status: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Stature: Swimmin’ in Dope Stuff
In the building. The adrenaline gon’ rush…excite us.
We the cold lunch to bite
It’s cause we Midas on the mic with the gold touch. Shinin’.
[Rhyme Time]
Status: Pork Rinds
Stature: Deep Fried
Eatin’ all cholesterol I really think I might die
Heart’ll hit a flatline, pick a better pastime
And if you die at 30…then 15 is your halftime
[Apt]
Status: Hot Pockets
Stature: Docs Knotted
Not gonna stop til I’m on top and I’m fox huntin’
Millionaire thrills, payin’ my bills with ease and gumption
Get off of my Reese’s, pumpkin
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2. |
Start Here Pt. I
03:29
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[Interviewer #1]
I’m sitting here with House of Lewis. Now, House of Lewis…you’re from Provo, UT. Well you certainly don’t look like a hip-hop act. It says here you’re rappers. Tell us a little bit about yourselves.
[Rhyme Time]
Great, another interview, what we gotta get into?
How many same old lines we listen to?
Every single time y’all sound the same
How’d you meet? Who came up with the name?
You should mention our age or bring up our state
The small talk sounding like a bad first date
I’ma pass this plate, send the cash this way
When you waste our time, then we must get paid
[Apt]
Let me get a couple Reese’s on the rider
I thought you were gonna hold our feet to the fire
You need to retire. Can’t compete or inspire.
Lemme show you how to get the facts you require
Just do a simple Google search, you useless twerp!
Why we gotta do your work? I’m gonna lose my nerve
Type “House of Lewis” first. You know we hella known in the universe
[Chance Lewis]
Before I answer you I'd like to play the Bednar card
And change the question. Like can we get Nardwar
to interview the crew on the Utah news?
Get more Youtube views for the House of Lew?
Interlude: I feel like I could write their articles for them and just send them to them. We have an EPK. I made an EPK! It answers all their questions. Flip it over to the back: “What’s like like to be a white rapper?” It’s fine.
[Interviewer #2]
Start Here: when people first see you they have a low low bar
They made up their mind you neither have a flow nor bars
But then to their surprise they find you're not half bad
Given like half of you are some not bad dads
And the other half is on the dadbod fad
So they don't expect much from you, but is that not sad?
[Apt]
First off, dad bods are great
Got mad bars and fate says I’m a star, just wait
We gon’ complicate the little box you placed us in
Cannot contain this biz, you ignoramuses
[Donnie Bonelli]
I’m Donald Raymond, bitch!
[Apt]
Whoa, Bonelli, watch your language, man.
By the way, you dropped your name again
[Donnie Bonelli]
What can I say I guess I’ve got a name that’s— wait a minute! Hey, look everybody! It’s Atheist!
[Rhyme Time]
It’s Rhyme Time now, I’m that guy right now
How about we get our head into the game right now?
Let me circle it back, we’re no Urkels on tracks
F*** a dad bod, all my favorite rappers are fat
Go ahead and bleep that we that super groovy crew of dudes
Who paid our dues, believe that
(Goddammit, I do not need this shit. I am a Creative and Technology Director!)
Nothing sad about us, never dare to doubt us
House of Lewis came to do this ‘bout to learn about us
So what’s so hard to get? You ‘bout to get backhanded like your compliments
Interlude: I’m not freestyling. I don’t care that they asked us to freestyle. Oh, you guys rap, let’s freestyle. Okay, you make up a news story and tell it to me.
[Interviewer #2]
Pick it up from: You guys are from Utah
I say it with disgust like "Ewww-tah"
And even though I've never been
One night I flew above it on a redeye flight
All I could see was white (Apt: Oh, there it is…)
So what gives you the right to write raps about your ordinary life?
[Apt]
Yeah, could kinda be twelve inches of snow
We’ll convince with a show, we’re DaVincis of flow
Let me get down to what you’re itchin’ to know
Is it stage craft coverin’ dimensions of bro? No
Authentic. Just ask Howie
Not a bit augmented when we get so rowdy
You expect calm winded, then we get so gaudy
Just some goofballs proudly wavin’ freak flags loudly
[Chance Lewis]
Hey, I’m gonna rap real quick.
From the land of perfect teeth and fairer lawns
This ain't a marathon, it's a relay race, pass the baton to Don
Where you coming from, Don?
[Donnie Bonelli]
Draper! Been on a crazy caper with Kate Kelly & Elna Baker.
I was like, “Do me a favor, somebody pass me a nuggy and some rolling papers!”
[Apt]
Eighty ace talent pool run deep
And, yeah, we the cream on top, you can believe it or not
But the scene’s on lock, never lean, never drop
Lewis boys king, can you be that shocked?
[Interviewer #3:]
Okay, okay, we’re having fun. But really, what IS House of Lewis?
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3. |
Start Here Pt. II
03:51
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[Goldmyth]
You and I work sometimes on this old house making something into something else.
[Chance Lewis]
And we did it ourselves like we were Bob Vila
Doing himself in with a sad allen's wrench from IKEA
On that cry me a river in our written's like a poor man's Rhymesayer:
A bad Eyedea
We might be duo of low key, class of ’03, hundred block-arazzi
Rapping where the Fox eats, you rocked that chains and lock steeze
Like how we gonna drop three band names in one song
and I'm like “Watch me”
[Goldmyth]
Make up little songs…
I lie awake at night imagining dragons
And they spit flames across the nation in station wagons
A couple of would-be has-beens who got dad friends
Late in the game like those guys who got them jewels ran
When dudes' bands tried to more or less ghost us
We tried to get our names up on those Fork Fest posters
Even in 4-or-less point font just under Shady Chapel
And above the list of sponsors
We were terrible, but somehow better then
Experience is wasted on the barely relevant
And no matter what becomes of this it will have been
Better than what would have been if we had never met
[Apt]
A couple underdogs who merit more than three plays
Pulled me from obscurity to serenade a cliche
Broke hip millennials who marinate as teammates
Full of the absurdity, tailor made to relate
It pulled me in like a moth to the flame
Take the loss and the pain, write some songs, make a name
Passin’ out flyers people scoff and refrain
It’s they loss, they some lames. We still boss, we remain
I mean, damn, I named this block
I think I’ve claimed a spot. They say I’ve changed a lot
Found a muse, found a voice, grilled cheese and community
I guess you could call that some grown man puberty
But I’ve still got an itch to scratch
We get props, but I still want bigger than that
I want a movement, a unit, a crew that enthralls most
Screamin’ from the rooftops. Well, almost
[DJ SkratchMo]
They wanna know the name...Apt
Chance Lewis!
DJ SkratchMo!
House of Lewis!
We’ll give a history lesson
They wanna know the name
Donnie B
And that’s exactly why I go by my own name when I rap
Donnie Bonelli
This is Donnie
Ferdinand the Buick quit movin’ in California
I guess if I’ma be stranded I’m glad that the weather’s warm
But this House it almost got burned to the ground before it got going
Over before it started like the Challenger! Exploded with my crew!
Young Seeger always workin’ on my night moves
Eager to catch a dream and me the type dude
Swimmin’ in feminine attention
Instead I’m sleeping on a mattress in a kitchen
(Fast forward)
Elevate me a couple inches I’m off in the solar system
They’re telling Donnie “be grounded” I’m off in my own dimension
Chasing Wonderland and thunderous applause
A God when I bust bars! Yo! Ask your girl if she saw stars!
Yo, who needs a 6-piece band when SkratchMo’s hands can play the whole symphony?
Soundtrack to y’all shaking your faces
While I marinate in the motivation that y’all give to me.
[DJ SkratchMo]
They wanna know the name
Atheist!
It’s Rhyme Time now
[Rhyme Time]
You know I started just like every other rapper did
Wrong side of 25 while Whitney got her doctorate
Laugh from Caustic, awesome
Too loud, my voice out, lost it, Boy Scout mosh pit
I was battling, solo, Boba Fett
Found some backup rappin’ and now nobody can stop this
Set forth and we set fire
Hit the stage, killer set, leave, seven hours ’til the headliner
Time of the night got the stars in our eyes
Got us feeling like our star’s on the rise
And we might...steal the show...we might...steal the night
But we never stole a mic in our lives
Grow House revelry, red couch therapy
And everybody that brought a pillow they meant so much to me
Fifteen minutes was fifteen seconds
And someday we really gonna miss these sessions
[Goldmyth]
I don’t wanna fall asleep and live on in this dream
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4. |
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[Apt]
Never was one would could fight the funk
So he folded his clothes and he packed a trunk
A snack, a lunch, and headed for the heart of the slump
Sprayed shots from his tongue at the start of the bump-bump
Boom-bap, set his tooth as a trap
Only fighting chance to get his youth back
But the reaper, she creeped, uh, gave him two smacks
A believer, his fever caused him to lose track
[Apt]
Made himself a masterpiece but still feelin’ like a sadder beast
So what’s happening?
Thought he was finally managing to start dabbling in the saccharine
Dem bones rattling. Demandin’ him some new stuff
Flopped on the solo, gonna try it while he crewed up
Used up the closet but the promise bigger
Got himself a house full of bones to configure
[Chance Lewis]
Ever since he was a youngin’ he's been gunnin for the stage
No one's running a mixer in the dreams of teenage
Kids with stubby fingers blame it on his DNA
Born with 2 left hands can't shred but he can play
He's giving up the gun, picking up Reason
Got a folder that he keeps all of his beats in
He used to curse the stars but now he's telling em
Thank you for the limitations of my skeleton
Chorus: How’s that? Nonsense. How’s that? Nonsense. Nonsense. How’s that? Play them bones. How’s that? Nonsense. How’s that? Nonsense. Nonsense. How’s that? Play them bones.
[Donnie Bonelli]
Lone in the cut, smoke in his lungs
He’s hoping the drugs open him up
But he’s cold when he’s killin’ a 16
“So fresh!” “He really is pristine!” See him on big screens
Back hackin’ at tracks again
Coming immaculate with it when they pass the mic
Call him Donnie Bones (aka) Lil’ Basilisk!
“How do you feel?” Mr. Bones feels rattlin’!
(Haha...haha...haha...that’s a good one!)
Y’all cattle, he’s channeling Mackaveli and Madison Ave.
“Think he could tackle?” He’ll John Randle ‘em!
Hackin’ like Johnny Mac and them.
Got diabetes just to hear these little sweeties call him “saccharin.”
See them seats? He gonna pack ‘em in.
He’s got the acumen. The dude’s a snack to them.
“And all the demons and diseases he’s been scrappin’ with?”
He kicked their asses man! They’re in the past, the wind!
Chorus: How’s that? Nonsense. How’s that? Nonsense. Nonsense. How’s that? Play them bones. How’s that? Nonsense. How’s that? Nonsense. Nonsense. How’s that? Play them bones.
[Rhyme Time]
Brickwork boxing bubblin’ up blisters
Blast through the plaster slabs ’til the wrists hurt
Tiny cracks creepin’ in the sounds of the whispers
Crumbling to rubble freedom for the victors
Typecast, hype fast, don’t last, die fast
Labels are the fables, hook a left to the right path
Tried to box him in but he boxed out
Got his own style, made a hole and he walked out
[Outro]
Dem bones, dem bones, dem
Dry bones, dem bones, dem bones dem
Dry bones, dem bones, dem bones dem
Dry bones, now hear the word of the Lord
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House of Lewis Salt Lake City, Utah
House of Lewis is a hip-hop collective consisting of Apt, Atheist, Chance Lewis, DJ Chu, DJ SkratchMo, and Donnie Bonelli.
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