[Interviewer #1]
I’m sitting here with House of Lewis. Now, House of Lewis…you’re from Provo, UT. Well you certainly don’t look like a hip-hop act. It says here you’re rappers. Tell us a little bit about yourselves.

[Rhyme Time]
Great, another interview, what we gotta get into?
How many same old lines we listen to?
Every single time y’all sound the same
How’d you meet? Who came up with the name?
You should mention our age or bring up our state 
The small talk sounding like a bad first date
I’ma pass this plate, send the cash this way
When you waste our time, then we must get paid

[Apt]
Let me get a couple Reese’s on the rider
I thought you were gonna hold our feet to the fire
You need to retire. Can’t compete or inspire.
Lemme show you how to get the facts you require
Just do a simple Google search, you useless twerp!
Why we gotta do your work? I’m gonna lose my nerve
Type “House of Lewis” first. You know we hella known in the universe

[Chance Lewis]
Before I answer you I'd like to play the Bednar card
And change the question. Like can we get Nardwar
to interview the crew on the Utah news?
Get more Youtube views for the House of Lew?

Interlude: I feel like I could write their articles for them and just send them to them. We have an EPK. I made an EPK! It answers all their questions. Flip it over to the back: “What’s like like to be a white rapper?” It’s fine.

[Interviewer #2]
Start Here: when people first see you they have a low low bar
They made up their mind you neither have a flow nor bars
But then to their surprise they find you're not half bad
Given like half of you are some not bad dads
And the other half is on the dadbod fad
So they don't expect much from you, but is that not sad?

[Apt]
First off, dad bods are great
Got mad bars and fate says I’m a star, just wait
We gon’ complicate the little box you placed us in
Cannot contain this biz, you ignoramuses

[Donnie Bonelli]
I’m Donald Raymond, bitch!

[Apt]
Whoa, Bonelli, watch your language, man.
By the way, you dropped your name again

[Donnie Bonelli]
What can I say I guess I’ve got a name that’s— wait a minute! Hey, look everybody! It’s Atheist!

[Rhyme Time]
It’s Rhyme Time now, I’m that guy right now
How about we get our head into the game right now?
Let me circle it back, we’re no Urkels on tracks
F*** a dad bod, all my favorite rappers are fat
Go ahead and bleep that we that super groovy crew of dudes
Who paid our dues, believe that
(Goddammit, I do not need this shit. I am a Creative and Technology Director!)
Nothing sad about us, never dare to doubt us 
House of Lewis came to do this ‘bout to learn about us
So what’s so hard to get? You ‘bout to get backhanded like your compliments

Interlude: I’m not freestyling. I don’t care that they asked us to freestyle. Oh, you guys rap, let’s freestyle. Okay, you make up a news story and tell it to me.

[Interviewer #2]
Pick it up from: You guys are from Utah
I say it with disgust like "Ewww-tah"
And even though I've never been
One night I flew above it on a redeye flight
All I could see was white (Apt: Oh, there it is…)
So what gives you the right to write raps about your ordinary life?

[Apt]
Yeah, could kinda be twelve inches of snow
We’ll convince with a show, we’re DaVincis of flow
Let me get down to what you’re itchin’ to know
Is it stage craft coverin’ dimensions of bro? No
Authentic. Just ask Howie
Not a bit augmented when we get so rowdy
You expect calm winded, then we get so gaudy
Just some goofballs proudly wavin’ freak flags loudly

[Chance Lewis]
Hey, I’m gonna rap real quick.
From the land of perfect teeth and fairer lawns
This ain't a marathon, it's a relay race, pass the baton to Don
Where you coming from, Don?

[Donnie Bonelli]
Draper! Been on a crazy caper with Kate Kelly & Elna Baker.
I was like, “Do me a favor, somebody pass me a nuggy and some rolling papers!”

[Apt]
Eighty ace talent pool run deep
And, yeah, we the cream on top, you can believe it or not
But the scene’s on lock, never lean, never drop
Lewis boys king, can you be that shocked?

[Interviewer #3:]
Okay, okay, we’re having fun. But really, what IS House of Lewis?